In yoga class yesterday laying in svasana, the teacher talked about letting go of things in your head. She talked about how hard meditating is, which you hear a lot if you go to yoga classes as often as I do. But then she pointed out that this is because people are just plain uncomfortable being alone with themselves.
I was reminded of that study saying people get so bored/anxious when left entirely on their own, they choose to give themselves electrical shocks rather than listen to their brains.
I’m in a new city. I don’t know many people in Brisbane. The night before that yoga class I’d sat in a park alone for an hour. It was really hard; the first time I felt truly lonely on this trip (2.5 weeks in of 10 weeks).
I’d just read yet another article on internet addiction and letting go of the constant need to check. I have a data SIM on my iPhone and while I’d like to say I’m succeeding at limiting screen time, I’m mainly worried the battery will drain and I won’t be able to find my way home so I keep it on airplane mode most of the day.
I spend more time with me than with anybody else. Why then is it so painful to have nothing but me around? Can’t I hang out with just me?
I am going to try to make more friends and to email my grandma more. But I’m also going to practice being alone. It’s ok for it to be uncomfortable. That’s where the growth happens, right?